


bigger, badder, cooler

by calico_fiction



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Ableist Language, Alternate Universe, Banter, College, Crossdressing, Friendship, Gen, Homophobic Language, Walk Of Shame, mentioned Patty/Stan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 19:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30026715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calico_fiction/pseuds/calico_fiction
Summary: When Stan comes into their dorm room at 9:46 a.m. his curls are in a riotous disarray, his shirt is buttoned wrong, and there are three different shades of lisptick smeared all over his face and neck. His eyeliner, however, is perfect.
Relationships: Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris
Kudos: 7





	bigger, badder, cooler

**Author's Note:**

> I have an ambiguous AU tag on this because I don't know what the fuck is going on. Maybe there's No Pennywise. Or maybe it's Canon Divergence where you don't forget after leaving. Or maybe Stan and Richie go to a college close enough to Derry that they forget Pennywise but not each other. It's up to you!

When Stan comes into their dorm room at 9:46 a.m. his curls are in a riotous disarray, his shirt is buttoned wrong, and there are three different shades of lisptick smeared all over his face and neck. His eyeliner, however, is perfect.

“What the fuck happened to you,” Richie asks, wide-eyed over the latest issue of Sandman. “And where should I go to be the next victim?” Stan doesn’t acknowledge Richie through so much as a roll of his eyes, like usual. He kicks the door shut behind him and steals Richie’s cafeteria coffee from the dresser that is objectively way too big for this shitty little room. Richie doesn’t protest. He wasn’t really drinking it anyway; he’s jittery enough without it.

“I’ve been buying the wrong underwear,” Stan says after draining the whole cup in one swig. He unsnaps his jeans and pulls the waistband down just enough to show Richie what’s underneath. “These are so much softer.”

“Staniel Urine!” Richie exclaims, dropping the comic and rolling nearly off of his flat-ass XL twin. Underneath Stan’s boring, typical, straight leg blue jeans is a pair of lilac lacy underthings. Richie laughs gleefully, gesturing for Stan to do a twirl for him, at which Stan finally does roll his eyes. “I’m shocked and appalled, Staniel. And you must have skipped your 8 a.m. too, huh? Tsk tsk.”

“Actually, I went like this,” Stan says as he turns away to his side of the room and begins changing.

“No _shit_ ,” Richie says, truly flabbergasted for the first time. Stan has a really good rep with his professors for being punctual and focused (two things that Richie has a pretty good rep for _not_ being).

“Of course not, dumbass,” Stan laughs, pulling a soft t-shirt on over his head and messing his hair up even more. “Had you, though. Your face.” Richie throws his comic at Stan’s back. Stan lets it hit him without reaction. Stan tugs his jeans off, and Richie is blessed to behold that the panties he’s wearing are sheer in the back. He wolf whistles just to see if he can make this new Bad Stan blush. He cannot.

“Seriously, though,” Richie insists after Stan has pulled on a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and is reclining on his own twin, staring somewhat dreamily up at the water-stained popcorn ceiling. “Where were you?”

“I was hanging out with Patty.” Stan sighs dreamily too, blowing a stray curl up to bounce back down onto his forehead. He’s not quite smiling, but his dimples are showing.

“Patty _Blum_?” Richie asks. “No way.” Patty has the same kind of rep around campus as Stan does. She’s hard working and sweet and wears cardigans in neutral colors.

“Yes way,” Stan says, spinning Richie’s worldview around on the axis of ‘us vs them’. Turns out you don’t have to be a fag or a nutcase to have a good time, actually. Who woulda thunk. “I think I’m gonna marry her,” Stan adds after a few moments, and Richie laughs until he realizes that Stan seems completely serious.

“Oh, like,” he stutters, wrong-footed. He forgets, sometimes, that they technically count as adults now, and that they can make adult decisions any time they want. Richie forgets about marriage as a concept sometimes too, but honestly that’s probably for the best. “For real?”

“Yeah,” Stan confirms. “Yeah, for real. I’m gonna marry her. One day.”

“Damn,” Richie says, because that’s all he can really say. “Congrats, dude.” Stan snorts at Richie’s lackluster response, but he reaches one long arm down to the floor so that he can throw Richie’s comic back across the room. It’s a tiny room, so the comic actually does make it back within Richie’s reach.

“Don’t worry, Richie,” Stan teases gently. “I’m sure she’ll be down for at least one pity threesome.”

“Oh, thanks, dickhead,” Richie snorts, but it’s _Stan_ so it’s not half as sarcastic as it could be. That’s just Stan’s way of letting Richie know that even when he and Patty Blum get married, he’s still gonna keep Richie around too.


End file.
